Chasing Davies: The hard side of this mommy thing

January 31, 2014

The hard side of this mommy thing

{Nora's two-piece sweater outfit c/o Cherokee available at Target and booties here; Liam's shirt here (and he really is the best brother ever!) & sweats c/o FabKids}

I would consider myself a new mom still.  Only have I been one for a little over 2 years and now a mom of two, I know I have a lot to learn.  I know there are many hard sides of motherhood and lots of tough stuff out there.  Things could, also, always be worse. Each stage will come with it's own new set of challenges.  In this mom world, I'm know my greatest challenges lay ahead.  

But I had a glimpse of something I think I'm going to struggle with as my kids get older.  Last weekend we attended a 3 year old's dinosaur-themed birthday party with lots of other young kids running around, as 2 to 4 year olds do.  They were having fun, allowed to consume sugar and roaming free!  Liam was one of those kids, having a great time and curiously exploring.  At one particular moment, he was admiring the dinosaur footprints on the ground when a 3 or 4 year old boy shoved him from behind.  No big deal, Liam just moved away from him to a different spot, but this kid followed him around and kept giving him little shoves.  I was watching it all, getting annoyed, but Liam didn't seem bothered, seemed to be doing the right thing by moving away from the kid.  

As Liam was walking away from the area all together, the kid came from behind him and really pushed him, knocking Liam over, coming close to hitting a table.  It scared Liam, who was probably more confused than anything.  He cried and I went over there to get my kid away from this older, larger boy who just kept hovering.  It took all I had not to reprimand this kid, whose own parents sat close by doing nothing.  I was so mad, fired up!  I couldn't even hold back completely, I asked the kid to "please don't push" - grabbed Liam and we moved to the other side of the room.  

Liam bounced back quickly, and off he went to play with the kids and run around the party.  I kept my eyes more closely on my son, and the mean kid, who I saw start making his way back to Liam and as I was on my way to intervene (again), the boy put a shoulder into Liam's as he walked by him.  Again, Liam didn't care and kept walking, thankfully, and I moved Liam away from this kid, again.  But seriously - where was this kids parents (the party was all in one room - it wasn't so big the parents couldn't keep an eye on their own son) and at this age (2 to 4 year olds), parents should probably be watching their young children, right?  More importantly, maybe, why at this young age did this child already know how to pick on someone like this?  Where did he even learn how to knock a shoulder into a another as he walked by?    

I've been so mad about this situation since, I really struggled with it.  I wanted to cry, yell or both.  I  know my kids will have to deal with hard things in life, like bullies, and this was my first taste into that.  And at only two years old?  My heart sank when Liam shed tears because of this random kid's actions, who we didn't know and had no prior interactions with.  And while Liam has already forgotten it (like 3 minutes later), this was a first for me, as a mom, to deal with a kid targeting my son.  I know that I'm going to have to find a way to deal with my kids getting hurt throughout life.  I think it will be one of my biggest challenges as a mom... seeing them get sick, suffer, feelings hurt, let down, etc.  

I wish as a parent that I could protect my kids from life's crappy parts.  But I also know that these things will help shape and teach them.  As a teaching moment, we can explain to Liam how those actions of that kid hurt him and hopefully Liam will know not to treat people like that.  Maybe it will make him kinder to others? I hope so.  For now, I just want my babies to be babies.  I don't want them to have to deal with all that hard life stuff for awhile. So it just hurt me to see him upset, even for a nano-second by a mean kid's actions.

How can I be a stronger mom?  What kind of heart shield do I need to buy?

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